Drum - Tidbit

Friday, October 9, 2026

Carrot Mango, Onion mango

A little kid brought his dad some juicy ripe mangoes from Badili. Then he told his dad that if he eats those carrot mangoes, he will be a happy man. The father realised the mangoes were small. He said, ‘but these mangoes are very small’. Ha ha laughed the boy and announces: ‘but daddy if you start with small, small, it will all add up to big happy.’ Then he pulls out an onion from his mummy’s shopping bag and adds, ‘dad, if you eat this new mango, you will be sad and cry! Case closed.

HEADSTAND IN ROKU

A Kido man married a Roku girl in Central province. The Kido hiccup took his small brother to his in-laws at Roku for some night diving lessons. Before the red sun dipped beyond Haidana Island, the head fisher of the fishing crew called down to his son to locate his diving torch, however, tamana experienced a slight sunset tongue twister.

HEAD STONE

Instead of asking for this head mounted searchlight, he mistakenly asked, ‘son find my head stone and bring it up here.’ All the divers and drivers were alarmed. The two visitors from Kido watched in silence as the master diver cancelled the fishing trip on the spot. They found out later that their Roku relatives are highly superstitious of bad luck emanating from a miscue of words. The big brother told the small brother that next time, they should bring the ‘head lights.’

ANGAU ANGLES

A Kiwi, who served as a PC journo in PoM and later as a radio journo for NBC in Rainy Lae, was hospitalised in ANGAU general hospital. Poor bugger. He was wheeled into the general ward and placed on a bed where the previous occupant had just expired. Our old Kiwi fruit was too sick to complain. Further he was strengthened by the fact that the NZ Junior Kiwis led by Tawera Nikau were in town for a test match against the PNG Junior Kumuls.

Kiwis v Kumuls

The next day, our kiwi brother is awoken for breakfast by the sound of wailing. He opens his eyes, looks to the left and sure enough, one kumul has flown. The Kiwi closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. The next day, once again, wailing mamas wake him up. Sure enough the linesman on his right is gone. Our kamate kamate man is now thinking very hard. ‘This will not happen to me’. He tells the head nurse, he wants out.

TWO JOURNOS REUNITE

The kiwi finally convinces the ward doctor, and a wheelchair is brought around to save him from the angel of death. Our poro moves into the intermediate ward where to his great relief he is welcomed by a fellow journo. All afternoon, they are focused on their fortunes and misfortunes. A few years later, the hardy Kiwi does his final haka and is buried in his adopted hometown.

CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEAD

The surviving journo, after recovering, returned to his hometown of PoM. One day, while out having a few, the man had a violent altercation with a group of highlanders. When he woke up, the poor bugger was lying on a bloodied gurney between two other very dead highlanders at the old PoM Gen layout. Remembering his Kiwi brother, the man got up, looked around, realised he was about to be pushed into the morgue with the other two. Letting off a scream of horror, our friend ran out the door and sprinted all the way to his house at Korobosea.

Thursday, October 7, 2026

SAMTING NATING III

Remember Nating Nating, the baby from the Badili Talai Tari settlement? Well, nating has become samting again. It has now been revealed that the abandoned child’s parents are both from Tari. The fada owns a Taka Box that sells black market alcohol. The mama ran off with another man after giving birth to Nating Nating. Worried neighbours are calling on family welfare services to intervene and remove the child, who is being looked after by two young siblings. We call on police and child welfare services to visit the settlement behind the Green House at Badili where Nating Nating floats around.

SUPPORTING TUVALU

The Prime Minister’s K25 million gift to Tuvalu ($US5.5 million) to mitigate Climate Change action on that Pacific Island has raised questions back home in PNG. The support is over 5 years at K5m and the first five mill was handed over in Funafuti last week. It surprises many Christians in PNG that while Marape stood with Israel at the UN, Tuvalu joined other mainly Arab nations that walked out when Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was giving his speech.

WHERE IS THE FUNDING FOR CARTERETS?

Meanwhile the Autonomous Region of Bougainville has many out low-lying islands. These islands are expected to sink under rising tides precipitated by global warming. Some years ago, king tides ravaged the outer islands of the Carterets. Government offered some millions for emergency food supplies. Whether the money has reached the islanders is unknown to this day.

PUMICE FUNDS

Early this year, the underground volcanic activity in the Bismarck Sea unleashed pumice that floated into the Manus islands and blocked off many of the waterways. The pumice is still there. The government promised the islanders K5 million in assistance. Manusians are now scratching their heads how Tuvalu got its first PNGK5 million while the pumice funding has never reached Manus Island.

CRUSTY CRABS

A couple of Simbus sat down to a fine seafood dinner. They wolfed down every seafood platter. The last one to send them to Bikini Bottom was lobster. The order was huge and midway through; the host left the table to download and free up some megabyte seafood space. Burp, hiccup.

CRUSTY ASIANS

Meanwhile his relo was well into attacking the lobsters. After knocking off two in a row, he was magnetised by the spiced up bubbly meat. By now a bit tipsy, the mountaineer called the waitress over to place another order. However, he was unsure of what the animal was, so thinking out loud, he finally settled on ‘crustaceans’! The waitress was lost. She went and told the restaurant manager, a chaico mori that ‘that customer wants crusty asians!’ Missy Lee beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen and brought the chef. The bel rop problem was finally solved when the hungry simbu was shown a menu that had a picture of the most wanted crusty Asian!

CRITICAL BIG RIVERS

It funny how Gulf, the land of many big rivers is now considered critically endangered water wise as far as El Nino rankings are concerned. Central and NCD yes but Gulf? The engineers in the National Disaster Centre must be joking. All they need to do is put up a few pumps and pipeline and pump away. The rivers in the Gulf will never run dry.

For the crown jewels

A man who wore his sialum cowboy belt proudly for the last five years got a pleasant surprise from his dearest lalokau wife. The cowhide belt had seen better days was at its stretch point and still loyally holding up his pants. But the mama of the house, afraid that it might finally drop her hubby’s pants and reveal the crown jewels, handed him his plate of rice with a new belt.

Wednesday, October 7, 2026

Nursing pains

A beautiful young woman loved the nursing uniform. She fell in love with the stethoscope around the neck and the heartbeat of the patients. She studied very hard in nursing school. Just recently, her family celebrated when she finally became a graduate nurse. However, her eyes have opened to the challenges of nursing and nurses, who work long shifts in testing environments. She asked her father: Why wok les long baim mi? There are so much sick attending the hospitals in POM and the pay for a graduate is not what she expected!

Dam it

A group had a night debate with a watery flourish. The word was thirsty and out. Was it dam or pool or reservoir of water? The first old bugger said reservoir. The second old fella insisted on dam. And the Whoopi Goldberg of the group sang a Rainy Lae tune online. Another Idiot (AI) suggested a pool of eda ranu trapped in wadeva is lareva. Even one waterless dry bugger said every primitive knows what Sirinumu Dam is. One small rat whispered that all the natives have never heard the word reservoir, let alone know the spelling. In the end the kanakas settled on dam.

Samting nating

Remember Nating Nating, the baby from yesterday? Well, nating has become samting. Mamas and Papas in Badili have joined in the hunt for Nating Nating’s parents. So, if you know who the parents are or the mama or papa of Nating, please call the police hotline number.

Mama geamsao

The Yabim District mama geamsao mess is laughable. How can a group defraud their own group members from remote Menyamya. The Yabim mama leaders now owe more than an apology to the Menyamya circuit mamas. They must refund their money in full or risk being arrested for misusing the Menyamyans cash.

wrong highway

A Mekeo guy was drinking at the old Boroko tavern. It was getting late. He had to get home to Bereina station for the weekend. His mate from Kwiks shouted a last round and took him to Four-Mile and loaded him on a half empty PMV. Being drunk, he did not realise that the PMV was from Rigo. The curious driver, who was from Garaina but married to Rigo, asked the Mexican if he was from Garaina. The drunk did not hear him clearly and nodded yes and promptly fell asleep. When he woke up, too late, it was dark, he was in Kwikila instead of Bereina.

jack’s hiccups

In Kido village near the LNG plant is a great fisherman named Jack. His catch is always plentiful, and he rules the waves of Kido. Now young Jack has seven sisters. One of them is married to an Ozzie. One day big sis was visiting Kido and Jack, who is illiterate, was told to never utter a word, lest he embarrass the tribe.

taubada’s hiccups

After a powerful night with taubada, all these literate ones retired for the night leaving Jack with his in-law. The taubada was drowning the night on Jack Daniels pure. In one session with nakimi Jack, he took a sip and hiccupped, puts the glass down and says bloody hiccup. Typical Aussie, he wanders off to water the Kido grass. Jack takes his tambu’s glass and takes a long straw. It is powerful. He sees a million stars and almost passes out.

kido hiccups

Next day, Jack goes around Kido singing praises for his Ozzie inlaw. He is boasting that his tambu can drink Kido dry. Eventually his uncle asks him, ‘what did your nakimi drink that makes you so proud?’ Fisherman Jack proudly replies, ‘taubada was drinking Hiccups!’ Kido people are still looking for the new beer Hiccups.

Tuesday, October 6, 2026

Mexican bush rum

A Mekeo from the very bush Mekeo forests, went on a trip down under. On his way home, he bought some very expensive bundy, rum, whiskey and sorry cup flavours. The bush Mexicans, being bush mastas, were totally wasted by the red labels and black labels. They forgot their Mexican accent and were soon singing some keremaican numbers like ‘sapos yu laik salens mi, ai don kea enipoti’.

Fooled by the sauces

The following week, the Bush Papuans went on a joy ride to Moresby. Having been mersmerised by the black and red labels, they were out looking for the same colours when they come across soy sauce, cooking sauces and the kitchen sauces in a shopping mall, jumbo lai. Thinking this had to be the real stuff, they bought the sauces and took them home for a typical bush mekeo party. Soon the party was in full swing but nobody was floating yet. Only when the mama of the house recognised the cooking sauces did the party go ‘red, black and gold’.

Ear buds

An oldie was on his machine recycling some movies. He turned to his daughter sitting next to him and asked ‘dota can I use your ear bud?’ the daughter looked at her papa in a very confused way. The father asked again ‘the ear buds, darling. The one you just dropped on the floor.’ Then it dawned on the daughter, papa was not trying to clean his ears, he was trying to listen to the audio. The girl tells her daddy, ‘papa this is a headphone.’ The old man nodded. ‘Yes, ear flug.’

Baby nating nating

A child now being raised in a Badili settlement in Port Moresby is known as Nating Nating. The baby is cared for by two kids. The mum is never seen. And the papa has never been seen. As this amounts to child abuse, we call on Child Welfare Services to send a team to Badili at the back of Green House, Talai Settlement, Koiari Tari compound. You will find a malnourished Nating Nating roaming around there looking for nating.

Fada nating

A father woke up yesterday, switched his phone on but did not have any network. He kept trying but to no avail. Refresh, switch on off, fiddling with network setting but nogad kokoroku stret. Anyway, tickled all over and fuming gageva red, he calls up Telikom help desk, accusing them of scamming his credits. But the lady gracefully keeps her cool and explains the dispute procedures and promises to call back.

Fada forgetful

Mister FF (fada forgetful) checks his forever empty wallet and finds the receipt showing he had purchased a Raitkad the previous evening at 16.58pm at the local servo, a good hour and a half before the NRL Kokoroku grand final hot rooster. Sure enough, the beautiful and gracious kekeni at Telikom calls him back and assures him that he had not topped up his credits.

FF suddenly remembers

Fada Forgetful is miffed. Feeling totally cheesed off, he pulls out a used K10 top kad. The Telikom staffer enters it online. ‘Sorry Paps’ she says, ‘this kad was used by someone else. It’s not topped up by you’. Paps tamana is turning orange like a tiger. His wife is turning red like red riding hood. And their baby is wondering what’s wrong with my parents?

FF discovers amazing grace

Finally, FF goes off to work, clocks in for the day, and climbs the stairs to his office. As FF flops on his chair like a puffed-up albatross, right there and then, lo and behold the winning field goal, is the missing Telikom card. Fada Forgetful offers a humble apology to the ever so gracious and graceful Customer Services Officer, Amazing Grace.

Monday, October 5, 2026

Dom young and tom old

As the game started, the Knights shifted the ball wide to Dom Young, an old guy stood up, shouted in kerema English, ‘ai lou fo yu sali poi’ (I know you sonny boy) and told his sons, ‘Tom Young stap insait lo keim, eh he, na mi Tom Old, mi stap ausait na sapotim yangpla. Lapun sapotim Yangpla, pai try kamap’. His tobras son laughed and said, fada, nem blo em DOM ino TOM! Quick as a flash, Old Tom said, ‘yes son, you are right pat in keleva, Dom is Tom and Tom is Dom, father and son.’

our own fada masu

The commentary’s regular call of Newcastle winger Greg Marzhew reminded our old journos of a man who was more famous in our newsroom than rugby league players. His name was legendary for all the sugary sweet teacups in the newsroom. Father Masu Morim, from Buang, Morobe, was our last newsroom tea boy. No one ever got past his famous 10 spoon boilers. That steamy cup could stir up your imagination better than a mekeo buai and a kerema daka did for a front-page story. In memory of Fada Marzhew.

Locked out

We all have heard of the landowners thrown out of a hotel for non-payment of bed and breakfast. Well, at another hotel, a group of MK locals packed it in after a lapun old L/O kicked the bucket at Pom Gen. It seems vada feelings sent them packing as the old one passed on without getting his royalty. And they feared they’d be next. Oh PNG, enough lo bilip lo mesiri, vada, sorcery.

Dinau tales

A taubada wanted to sneak off to the club to watch the NRL grand final. But poor bugger, he had not a toea in his pocket. So, he was so sweet and lovey dovey to his wife. He decided to test himself telling her she was sweetest thing in his life. Wife had already calculated the next move.

Dinau drop

As a last resort, he finally popped the dangerous pitch, ‘Can I give you my card and get a loan from you?’ The fire that came out almost burnt the house down. The man was about to call the fire brigade to come by and hose his missus down during their ‘maus pait’ firefight.

Dinau lessons

Our friend realised that a man should never treat his wife harshly. Family is the union of a man and a woman. Love must be a two-way thing. Respect between partners must be strong for the sake of unity and children. After their disagreement, she ended up sleeping at a friend’s house and returned the next day.

knight’s oldies

Our homegrown ex Knights players Dairi Kovae and Arnold Krewanty were among the thousands of fans in Sydney yesterday to watch their old team play. They almost came home with unforgettable memories of a famous Knights grand final win. It was so close, both Kumuls were left with their hearts in their mouths up until the final ding dong hooter. Dairi and Arnold last played for the Newcastle Knights in 1989 when it was a newly formed team.

Blistering side-step

Before Benji Marshall brought the brilliance and flash of the side-step to NRL, Dairi Dux Kovae was already mesmerising crowds in Sydney, Moresby and at international Tests with his lightning footwork. Dairi caught the eye of North Sydney Bear scouts and became the first PNG home grown player to be signed to a Sydney club in 1988. He is officially Bear number 855.

Duxie at knights

Duxie, from Porebada, the home of the famous DCA Bulldogs, was snapped up by the Newcastle Knights as Knight number 43 in their foundation year. He is officially Kumul number 95. He retired from rugby league after suffering a career ending knee injury.

El Nino strikes manus hard

Severe drought conditions are driving thirsty villages in Manus to search for water. All rivers are drying up. Streams and creeks are gone. On Los Negros Island where the Momote International Airport is located, all water tanks have finished in 8 wards. This is an SOS May Day call to the Provincial and National Governments.

Friday, October 2, 2026

The Wightman Experience

In September 1974, a sinabada named Mrs Wightman went shopping at Boroko’s Tabari Arcade. In those good old days, shopping was fun. No hassles, you could take your time, walk through the aisles, check prices, ask for new orders, meet and greet old pals, and even enjoy a meaty Arthurs pie.

Lost car key

After three hours, sinabada Wightman returned to her car with her shopping bag. Checking her purse, she realised the car key was not there. Her heart sank. Sinabada carried her bags to the nearest shop and used a pay phone to call taubada Wightman who was the boss of the ANZ bank.

Taubada to the rescue

Taubada zooms around the Boroko bus-stop at full toss only to find his lalokau sitting inside the family car with her shopping. Taubada was flabbergasted. What kind of ‘mesiri’ is this, he asked. Wearing a happy smile, sinabada Wightman told of a Papua New Guinea native who had found the vehicle key lying on the ground and picked it up.

RARE HONESTY

For three hours the honest man had sat on a rock beside the car waiting for the owner to return. When Sinabada finally came back after calling taubada, the man had returned the key safely and walked away. Taubada was sent to bring him back for his reward. Such honesty is very rare in Papua New Guinea these days.

Robots

Nowadays we walk past each other like robot’s staring at the ground searching for answers amongst the stones and dust eyes glued to the breadcrumbs like hungry ants on a mission. Are we really searching for answers or simply avoiding what’s coming. Before you become a hit and run victim, always keep your head up and not face down.

Governor Challenge

A man stood at the buai market in Konedobu and announced to the whole world that Powes Parkop had been ousted by Michael Kandiu. He said ‘yupla ologeda harim, Powes em lus, kot tok, powes yu aut, Michael Kandiu kam in olsem nupela gavana.’ A PP supporter standing nearby challenged him: ‘yu save long lo o nogat? Kot ino mekim wanpla toktok lo Kandiu kamap gavana. Kot tok, Kandiu, apil salens blo yu bai go bek lo kot bai harim.’

A Park and A Model Ford

October 1 marks several major historical events, including the US government establishing the Yosemite National Park in 1890 followed by the debut of America’s most famous motor brand the Ford Model T in 1908. If you are Ford owner or ford enthusiast, there’s a piece of history for you.

Chinese Bamboo Very Strong

The People’s Republic of China was founded on October 1, 1949. We all know now that it took a very strong Chinese bamboo very strong Mao Zedong to raise a new communist nation. From China came kung fu action movie stars Bruce Lee, Jet Li and the funniest of them all Jackie Chan, known for the phrase ‘Chinese Bamboo Very Strong’ as Inspector Lee in Rush Hour. We should not forget that our kids trust Kung Fu Panda too. Read the full story of Mao Zedong and his cultural revolution in today’s PC Weekend Magazine!

THRILLA IN MAMINA

Papua New Guinea was one month old when on October 1, 1975, the boxing great that ‘floats like an Oro butterfly’ Muhammad Ali, previously born as Kakasia Clay fro Kaugere, ‘stung’ Joe Frazier into submission in the legendary heavyweight boxing match known as the “Thrilla in Manila”. One year earlier in October of 1974, the bumbu bee had stung George Foreman over 6 rounds in the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’ in Kinshasa, Zaire, now the Democratic republic of Congo. Nowadays, we don’t get that level of thrashing talking, mouthguard kissing, fists bashing heavyweight boxing.

Thursday, October 1, 2026

A house too small

A little girl went to visit grandpa who is recovering slowly after a hospital stay. At grandpa’s flat, she was very impressed. She asked mother ‘can you rent a house like this?’ To which the mama replied, ‘well if you go to school and learn and one day you grow up, sure you can make your dream come true.’ Apparently, they are renting and living in a container house at Vadavada Block.

UNTRUSTED NETWORKS

Even with the technological advances, many areas in PNG remain outside the network coverage areas. The network in Rigo and Abau areas have extremely poor reception and remain outside the network coverage areas.

TOWERS ARE USELESS

Despite the towers that dot the high countryside, networks are dysfunctional. There is no sign of Telikom for those users, while new Voda is taking over on good days but drops off on bad days. Locals say the strong winds are blowing their voices away. One man said that when he calls his wife, he has to sing loudly for his wife to hear. Last time he sang a love song, and a girl next door was ‘paralysed’ by his Basil Greg type of lonely makuri voice.

TRY THE LADDER

A family desperate to get the message to Moresby decided to employ their own home-made tower. The father lifted his wife on his shoulder; a child clambered onto mama’s shoulder and held out the phone to scan for a signal. Just as the child got the signal, the engine cut off. The ladder could not be remounted as the papa had by now developed a severe back ache.

The lofty tree

Last Sunday, a desperate young man climbed to the top of a lofty tree in his garden to listen to the NRL semi finals broad cast. To his great joy at hearing that Newcastle was about to score the winning try, he let out a cry of relief and a Knights chant only to lose his grip and drop the expensive phone, which bounced off the diwai and into the piglet boroma fence. He is still looking for the phone, which actually belongs to his father, who is a Panthers diehard.

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